Back in 2010, I explored what it was that made a leader ‘inspirational’, I brought it down to five main elements: Confidence, Emotional Intelligence, Pragmatism, Adaptability and Intellectual Curiosity, which I explored in detail. However, recently, I have been asking myself the question, why are some people more boring than others? Because when I find someones’ conversation boring, and then later get to know them better – it often transpires that they have lots of interesting things going on in their lives, or if not, they have at least read many interesting books or hold other ‘interesting content within them.  So why are they conversationally boring?

I think we can assume that everyone knows about pitching our voices, so that we do not become too monotonous, but there is something else too. There must be, because there are some very funny comedians who even use monotony as their key communication style. What I understand is that human brains are naturally lazy, so they like to get away with doing as least as possible (that’s why we tend to jump to conclusions).  But they also like us to say whatever comes easiest. And here lies the problem.  An interesting person (or story) is one where the words we receive are not only making a point, but are also creating an image, or emotion. For example, if I say “I like to drink coffee in the morning”, I am sharing a fact, which in itself, is pretty boring. But if I say “there’s nothing better than the aroma of freshly ground coffee, first thing in the morning.” I say the same thing but in a more interesting way. And you can either agree with what I say or not. But at the very least, you can imagine it.

There’s a famous song by Bob Dylan where he describes a character he met. He sings: “He never learned to read or write, there were no books upon his shelf”.  In the first line he tells us a fact, in the second, Dylan paints a picture which also tells us how he came to his conclusion. You will see this often in great writers and speakers. They offer us a fact and immediately follow it up with an observation. Here’s another example:

“She loved him very much, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him”. Before the comma is a fact, after the comma, an observation.

I would like to suggest you try playing a game with your family, friends or even work colleagues, where you start with a fact and the others have to follow it with an observation. One fact, followed by several observations, supporting the fact. The benefits of the exercise are that your brain quickly learns how to associate, and you will find yourself doing it more and more. Plus it’s also great fun! It’s like a kind of ‘inspirational workout’. Over time you will become more and more interesting, even funnier towards others.

Here’s a few facts to get started with:

1. “She loved him very much…
2. “He never learned to read or write…
3. “She started in the company last July…
4. “The financial numbers were not looking good…
5. “He set off at 08:00…
6. “He didn’t smile once during the meeting…
7. “I love cooking…

I hope I didn’t bore you? 😊

‘Inspirational Leadership’ is also available in Dutch “Inspireer en Leid”.  Reach out to us to find where you can obtain a free copy